The tenth commandment is "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
One meaning of the word "covet" is to lift your eyes toward something.
When I read this verse I imagine some old man sitting on his porch, minding his neighbor's business more than his own. The neighbors are putting on an addition, he lifts his eyes, thinking what a beautiful home they must have. A Barney's Furniture truck pulls up to deliver new furniture, he lifts his eyes. This commandment was written during Bible times, so when I say Barney's furniture, think Fred Flintstone. Back in the day, Barney's only delivered stone furniture. [Hey it was at least worth a try.]
But the neighbor lady is working out in the yard, looking after her family, so he lifts his eyes in admiration, entertaining what it might be like to be married to such a fine woman. Young women show up to help with chores. Young men spend the morning fitting the oxen and donkeys before heading out to the fields. This commandment is saying, "don't lift your eyes to your neighbor's house, his wife, his workers, his animals, his possessions..." It's quite a comprehensive list...
You can probably surmise, that this verse is talking about far more than glancing over the neighbors fence! Its addressing what we're making our focal point. The eyes are the "tell all." The eyes reveal the heart, the soul. What captivates the eyes is often what captivates our very soul.
Our oldest Schnauzer Rock E is slowly losing his vision. His brother and sister make it a sport to steal his popcorn, or whatever else we throw his way. So the other night Lara & I bought him a huge, basted, dog bone. Boy did he go to town, he was one happy dog! But what do you suppose our other two dogs did? They sat around, looking all forlorn, with their sad little faces, obsessing over his bone. I most noticed their eyes. They never once took their eyes off of Rock E's bone, not even for a moment.
What if the thing God most notices about us is our eyes? The Bible says God knows the heart. But what if knowing the heart is as simple as watching someone's eyes? It's true, if you watch a person's eyes you can virtually read their heart. What do your eyes say about heart... about your deepest longings, your character even?
Matthew 6:22-23 Jesus says, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" What if spiritual formation is as simple as changing our focus?
As it is, we have this inclination to lift our eyes to all the wrong things, while rarely lifting our eyes to the heavens to consider the life of God.
I wonder how we might reframe the 10th Commandment for today? Last I checked my neighbor didn't have manservants, maidservants, oxen or donkeys! But we covet one another's homes. We covet one another's relationships. We covet one another's jobs, and economic status, and wealth. We covet one another's technology, and clothing and possessions. A few weeks ago I went to a friend's house for the first time, and found myself coveting his wood shop.
What does breaking the 10th Commandment look like today? First, coveting looks like comparison. When facebook first came out, I thought it was fascinating. You log into the software, and nowadays, it automatically discovers all of your friends and associates. If you punch in your high school, all those people you spent a decade trying to forget show up in your timeline. The same with college. I typed in LCU, and in a short time, I knew too much information about hundreds and hundreds of people.
Experts have identified that Facebook can contribute to depression. Why? Because Facebook is the new front porch, a digital front porch. You can see your friends houses, family, friends, spouse, kids, cars, cats, dogs, and vacation photos. But what starts to happens is we start to compare ourselves to others. Well look who they're meeting, look what they're doing, look what they accomplished, look at the opportunities they're getting, look at what their eating at some glitzy place. Comparison is toxic to the soul. I find that I am much happier knowing less, not more!
Second, coveting looks like immodesty. A modest person is understated, discreet, simple. But an immodest person is just the opposite. They flaunt their curves, shout their thoughts, air their opinions, boast about their accomplishments, perpetually snap selfies. An immodest person is always showing their high-light reel, making themselves appear better, being a star of their own unreality show.
When I compare I make others my focal point. But when I'm immodest, I make myself the focus. You can break the commandment by misplacing your focus as making yourself the focus for others.
I used to go to many Pastor conferences, and conventions. Guys would paint these rosy pictures of their work, or they'd write a compelling book. Here I was working faithfully in my own field, but they'd make it sound like everything in their field was just amazing, and smooth, and awe-inspiring. So I made it a point many years ago (when I have a Sunday off, or on vacation, or during the week) to visit these ministries. I'd talk to their ministry staff, or volunteers or Elders... or I'd call up the actual guy and say, "Come on... how are things really going? What challenges are you facing?" I realized they weren't all that different than me, nor their church different than Lakeside. In reality, they had most all the same challenges and struggles.
Immodesty is often a person overcompensating for reality. Concealing, hiding, spinning what their afraid everyone will see.
A biblical example of immodesty is 1 Peter 3:3-4, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." Immodesty can be the person that flaunts their homes, their cars, their power, their position, their possessions.
Third, coveting can look like obsession. The covetous person chases and pursues but in the end loses everything. Implied in covetousness is imbalance, greed, an inordinate desire. In Luke 12:16-21, Jesus tells a story, "The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, ‘This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry."' "But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God."
Fourth, coveting can look like sadness. A lot of sadness is rooted in unfulfilled covetous desire. Sadness is comparison. I've never be like this other person. Sadness is that despite my immodesty, nobody is paying attention to me, I'm just average Joe. Sadness is getting your obsession--the home, the relationship, the opportunity, the bigger barns, the prize, that possession--only to discover your just as empty as when you first began. Sadness can be chasing something only to realize that the grass isn't greener on the other of the fence. Sadness is lifting your eyes to anyone or anything other than God himself for ultimate meaning, purpose, and satisfaction. More often sadness is a symptom of underlying sin of covetousness
Key to Overcoming Covetousness...
Practice Radical Gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Abide in Jesus for Meaning/Purpose. Hebrews 13:5-- "Keep your lives free from covetousness [the love of money] and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" That's the key to joy--that we'd find contentment and rootedness in our relationship with Jesus! Ultimately were created for God, not things. He wired us up not be satisfied anything less!
Be Patient and Prayerful. James 4:1-3, "do not have because you do not ask... wrong motive"
Be Modest. Don't make self focal point, distract others lifting eyes to Jesus.
Be Gracious and Share. Hospitality, sharing possession, generosity!