All of us have them in our lives. All of us have to relate to others who think a little more highly of themselves than what they ought to. In some cases they think way too highly of themselves than what they ought to! We call them a variety of names and describe them in different ways. Rainmakers. Superstars. Alpha males. Alpha females. Super egos. A legend in their own mind. Dealing with people with huge egos can be so frustrating. But we have been there because they are all around us.
Let me put a name and a face to these individuals. No, I’m not going to touch on politicians with this, although I could go up and down the political rosters. No, the name and face is the fictional “Anchorman” – Ron Burgundy. There is a scene in the movie where Ron Burgundy is using his famous line, “Do you know who I am?... I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal… People know me… I’m very important, I have many leather bond books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” You know those people who think they are kind of a big deal: known by people, own many leather-bound books, and have an apartment that smells of rich mahogany. You know those people.
The only place where we might be “kind of a big deal” is at our mom’s house!!
In our “dog-eat-dog” world, a world that is highly competitive, a world where we are encouraged to look out after our own interest, in a world of people who think they are "big deals," the person after God's heart must display gritty mercy. Throughout history, egos have tended to clash. At those moments, our responses are so important. Sometimes intervention is needed. Always, especially for Christians, we must strive for gritty mercy.
Today we continue our look at David and his Grit. Today it’s Gritty Mercy. David, of course, is on the run at this point in his life. Saul feels his leadership is threatened by David and seeks to take David out. So, David is in exile. We pick up on the story in I Samuel 25. Follow along as I read the background to our story. The simple reading of this account tells the story on its own.
“Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him; and they buried him at his home in Ramah. Then David moved down into the Desert of Paran.[a]
2 A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. 3 His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings—he was a Calebite.
4 While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. 5 So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. 6 Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours!
7 “‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. 8 Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them’” (I Samuel 25:1-8).
As David’s power grows, he comes into conflict with a rich landowner named Nabal. David’s group of rebels had been encamped in Nabal’s area for some time. David’s men have treated Nabal’s shepherds kindly, protecting them from harm without demanding anything in return. Until now, that is. It is sheep shearing time and David figures that Nabal owes him something, and he sends a delegation to ask Nabal to donate some lambs for a feast for David’s army of men, about 600 in number. Sheep shearing time was a festive time when celebrations took place. David figured Nabal would feel generous. Here is where we see the confrontation between two individuals that thought of themselves as “kind of a big deal.”
Nabal was the first– “Don’t you know, I’m kind of a big deal.” Read on in the text. 9 “When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited. 10 Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. 11 Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” (I Samuel 25:9-11)
Nabal thought very highly of himself. In these Biblical times, it was generally assumed that great wealth was God’s reward for obedience. Job is an illustration of this. But that was not the case with Nabal. His name meant “fool,” and that is what he was. He is described in this text as harsh and evil. A reader could also take from this text the idea that he was also arrogant, insensitive, self-centered, lacking in discipline, and not terribly intelligent. And his response to David’s request: “Who’s is this David?” The question is “who didn’t know David?” He had killed Goliath. His fame preceded him wherever he went. Nabal is showing his arrogance, his super-ego. He denied David’s request.
Now we see David’s true colors– “Don’t you know, I’m kind of a big deal.” Read on in the text. 12 “David’s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word. 13 David said to his men, “Each of you strap on your sword!” So they did, and David strapped his on as well. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies” (I Samuel 25:12-13).
The feeling that Nabal needs to be taught a lesson comes quite naturally. It is not until we read further into the text that we discover that David has made a vow to utterly destroy Nabal and every male child and servant. Clearly there is a revenge factor here.
Suddenly David is about to commit a massacre based on selfish revenge, while Nabal cares more about his pride than about his workers and family. These two arrogant men are unable to resolve an argument about sheep without spilling the blood of hundreds of innocent people. People tend to want to be first rather than to be right.
Praise God for people who are willing to intervene. I believe these people are called “peacemakers.” Abigail, Nabal’s wife, was willing to intervene. In earlier texts, Abigail was described as intelligent and beautiful. From her actions, we might conclude that she was wise and decisive and might well have been used as a model for the ideal woman in Proverbs 31. Her intervention with both David and Nabal produces two different responses which are based on these men’s hearts.
Let’s read about her intervention: 14 “One of the servants told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. 15 Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. 16 Night and day they were a wall around us the whole time we were herding our sheep near them. 17 Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.”
18 Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs[b] of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. 19 Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.
20 As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. 21 David had just said, “It’s been useless—all my watching over this fellow’s property in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. 22 May God deal with David,[c] be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!”
23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. 26 And now, my lord, as surely as the LORD your God lives and as you live, since the LORD has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you.
28 “Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The LORD your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the LORD’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. 30 When the LORD has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, 31 my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant” (I Samuel 25:14-31).
Abigail steps into the fray. She quickly prepares a feast for David and his men, and then rides out to meet David with an apology that goes beyond mere words. Wrapped in the courteous words are some hard truths that David needs to hear.
David is moved by her words and abandons his plan to kill Nabal and all his men and servants. David’s response is one of mercy. Continue reading the text. 32 “David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. 33 May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. 34 Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” 35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request” (I Samuel 25:32-35).
I can only imagine what others might have been saying: don’t go soft. Stand up for yourself. You are a big deal and you need to be treated like it. But David heard the words of the peacemaker, Abigail, and showed mercy. He showed Gritty Mercy. Although the actual word “mercy” is not used in any of the text, his actions fulfill the meaning of the word to its fullest. When David says to Abigail, “Go home in peace…” he is supporting the belief that mercy is the act of God, and peace is the resulting experience in people’s hearts.
The person after God's heart must display gritty mercy. Throughout history, egos have tended to clash. At those moments, our responses are so important. Sometimes intervention is needed as it was with Abigail. Always, especially for Christians, we must show gritty mercy.
How did Nabal respond to the intervention of Abigail? His response was one of anger. Read the last section of our text with me. “36 When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing at all until daybreak. 37 Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone. 38 About ten days later, the LORD struck Nabal and he died” (I Samuel 25:36-38).
Nabal either had a serious stroke or a massive heart attack. Within ten days he was dead. While a modern-day autopsy would have probably discovered a natural cause of death, it was the conclusion of everyone that it was the Lord who had “struck Nabal.” The fact is, he couldn’t handle allowing someone to upstage him. He couldn’t come down off his pedestal. His arrogance and selfishness eventually brought him down.
Here is the question for each of us today: How will the “big deal” in you respond to other “big deals”? Let’s face it. This happens to us every day. At work, at home, in church, in our neighborhoods, wherever we are.
What will your attitude be like towards others? Mercy is such a foreign concept in our world today. In this bitter and unforgiving world, revenge is everyone’s natural reaction to being wronged. We have to decide how we will respond. Will we respond because it’s what we want or because it’s the right thing to do. Show mercy, gritty mercy. Let me close with these words from Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount: “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7). The person after God’s heart has gritty mercy.