It is a privilege to have the opportunity to explore God’s Word with you this morning. Most Sundays, I spend my morning exploring God’s Word with our elementary aged kids helping them understand God Word and His Big Story.
Last week Jon unpacked what it means to abide in Christ for life. If you missed it, take a few minutes this week and go back and watch or listen to it on our website. Jon contrasted abiding in Christ with abiding in ourselves or others for life or for our identity. The discipline of living a life in obedience to the Lord is the foundation that we will build on this morning.
Several weeks ago, Jon asked me to preach this sermon today to address the challenges of family and parenting as part of our Unveiled series. I quickly said yes! I always enjoy the opportunity to share with you. To be transparent, I’ve struggled with preparing this message. In part, due to the events of this past week and the emotions that come from remembering the life of a dear brother in Christ, but largely because most of what we will unpack today are things that I have not mastered! I want to be clear from the start that the Spirit is working on all these things in my own life…in my own marriage…with my own children.
[Prayer] Father, You promise that your Word will not return empty. This morning may the words that I speak be yours. May the Holy Spirit stir us to hear and obey. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
Proverbs 14:12 tells us… “There is a way that seems right to a person, but its end is the way to death.”
We aren’t necessarily talking about someone that is purposefully choosing poorly. When we make our decisions based on what looks right, feels good, and seems logical the end can be both physical and spiritual ruin.
It doesn't take me long to see this in my own life. Christen—my wife of nearly 22 years—and I are the proud parents of three teenagers. Three teens can be a lot of fun. It can also be... a lot of other things.
We hit these crossroads constantly:
• How we use our time, money, and home.
• When cell phones should be allowed.
• When social media should be allowed.
• When dating should be allowed... (Never. Never is the correct answer, by the way).
• When our self-centered, sinful natures bump into each other, it creates conflict. Is it just us, or can you relate?
• Left to ourselves, we parent out of our own well—and that well is polluted. But when we parent out of God’s well—His Word—it brings life.
Let’s look at Proverbs 13:24 and unpack it together.
The one who will not use the rod hates his son,
but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently.
The Rod- In the ancient Near East, the "rod" was a common tool for a shepherd. It was used to guide sheep, protect them from predators, and nudge them back onto the path when they strayed.
The rod represents the parent's role as a guide and protector. As parents we are to shepherd our children…to guide and protect them from outside forces or from their own sinful nature.
There is a literal physical discipline that takes place, and a focus on the act of correction itself assuring that a child does not continue in a direction that will eventually cause them harm.
The proverb uses a strong contrast: "sparing" (withholding discipline) is equated with "hating."
The verse suggests that failing to correct a child is not an act of kindness, but an act of neglect. By allowing a child to grow up without understanding consequences, a parent is essentially leaving them unequipped for the realities of life.
To "hate" in this context implies a disregard for the child's future character. If a parent prioritizes their own immediate comfort (avoiding the unpleasantness of a conflict) over the child's moral development, they are not acting in the child's best interest.
The second half of the verse redefines love as something active and "careful."
The phrase "careful to discipline" (sometimes translated as "disciplines them "early or quickly") suggests that discipline should be consistent and timely. It isn't an emotional outburst of anger, but a deliberate, thoughtful process.
I know how challenging this can be. Some of us have been blessed with strong-willed children. There are times when every request is challenged and feels like a conflict. You’ve got this! God blessed you with them for a reason. You are raising leaders, so stay the course.
The purpose of discipline in Proverbs is always the cultivation of wisdom. It is about steering a child away from "folly" and toward a life of integrity and self-control.
True parental love requires the courage to set boundaries, even when it is difficult for both the parent and the child.
A child's long-term character is more important than their short-term happiness or the parent’s desire to avoid "being the bad guy." Put in the work early.
When this verse is read alongside other scriptures (like Paul's instruction "do not embitter or exasperate your children"), it suggests a balance where discipline is firm but rooted entirely in the welfare and love for the child.
The ongoing discipleship of children takes an incredible amount of intentionality and effort. Yes, it is a lot of work! Yes, it is tiring. Yes, it is totally worth it.
It is critical that we always keep in mind our role, our goal, and what the real enemy is that we are fighting. Our conversation today has primarily been about children and parenting.
Our last point for today certainly applies to children and parenting, but Paul speaks of this enemy in Ephesians 6:12.
This verse is a foundational pivot point in the famous "Armor of God" passage (Ephesians 6:10-18). Up to this point, Paul has been giving practical advice on relationships—marriage, parenting, and work. Then, Paul shifts the focus to reveal a hidden, cosmic backdrop to everyday human struggles.
The verse reads:
" For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens.." (CSB)
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood..."
The Greek word used for "struggle" or "wrestle" wasn't a distant, long-range battle with bows and arrows sort of battle; it referred to hand-to-hand, close-quarters combat. It implies an intimate, exhausting, and personal conflict.
Paul starts by telling believers who their enemy isn't. "Flesh and blood" means other human beings.
Recognizing this changes everything. It allows us to extend a deeper level of grace and empathy. Our kids aren't the architects of this spiritual battle—they are often the casualties of it.
"...but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world..."
Paul describes an organized, structured regime of evil.
These terms indicate order, rank, and dominion. It suggests that demonic forces operate with strategy and intentionality, aiming to influence human institutions, cultures, and mindsets.
This highlights the nature of their influence. They thrive where there is spiritual blindness, ignorance, hatred, and moral decay.
"...and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
In Ephesians, "the heavenly realms" refers to the unseen, spiritual dimension that coexists with our physical world.
Unlike human enemies, these forces aren't bound by physical limitations. Their weapons are deception, division, accusation, and temptation.
Your child is not the enemy. Your spouse is not your enemy. That difficult boss, the political opponent, or that person who wronged you- they are not the ultimate source of the conflict.
When you experience chaos, division, or intense temptation in your home, look past the human being in front of you. If you treat a spiritual problem with a purely physical solution, you will misdiagnose it every time.
Because the enemy is spiritual, human strength, intellect, or willpower is insufficient. This is why the very next verse begins with, "Therefore put on the full armor of God..." (Ephesians 6:13). The weapons required for this kind of fight must match the nature of the enemy: truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, and the Word of God. Abiding well is essential for anyone who wants to wear the full armor.
Recognizing that people are not the ultimate enemy changes how we treat them. It allows for a deeper level of grace and empathy. It doesn't mean ignoring injustice or bad behavior, but it means recognizing that people are often captives or casualties of a larger spiritual battle, rather than the architects of it.
Alright, so where does all of this leave us…
1. We must abide. Otherwise, our parenting and our relationships are just drawing water from a polluted, sinful well.
2. We must reframe the fight. Your family members are not your enemy.
3. We must Pray like crazy.
For THIS generation, we cannot passively allow darkness to win the day because we are too comfortable or too tired to put up a fight. The spiritual blindness, moral decay, and hatred on display on our devices, in our communities, and in our homes is contagious.
The war has already been won through Jesus, but the battle for souls is actively waging. This generation needs us to shepherd them into the spiritual giants they are called to be. They cannot become what they do not know! They must be trained, equipped, and sent.
This isn’t just a message for parents. This is a call for anyone who follows Christ. We all have a role to play.
Are you willing to step into that call?
• If you feel stuck or hopeless in your family relationships, we want to walk alongside you. Come meet us at The Point after the service.
• If you are like Laurie, and you're ready to get more deeply involved in equipping and mentoring this next generation, come meet us at The Point.
Let's not be complacent. Let's fight the real enemy, together.
PRAY